Blind and Waiting
by Frozen in Motion
Summary: Fluffy one-shot fic. James and Lily are both in love--but they haven't told eachother yet. Both are trying to find out how the other feels without admitting their own feelings--and get a kiss as well.


Disclaimer: This is what I own: NOTHING!

A/N: So instead of updating my other stories that I really _should_ be updating, I decided that I wanted to write a fluffy thing because… I like fluffy things. This doesn't have much of a point. It's a one-shot (duh) and here's the little bit of a point it DOES have: James and Lily are in love with each other, but neither of them has actually admitted it to the other—though they've admitted it to themselves. They both want to be kissed, and they both secretly want the other to say "I love you" first. So… it's basically them hinting and hinting like mad and making fools of themselves. WHAT COULD BE BETTER???? Haha. It starts off kind of reflectively… but then it gets into them being complete fools. Hehehehehe! P.s. any errors I make in terms of plot or scenery… blah blah blah… anything like that, just ignore it because… it's a one-shot it's not like I'm going to continue this.

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Lily sat on the floor of the astronomy tower, leaning back on her hands. She gazed out the huge glass-less windows at the midnight sky spattered with stars. In her mind, thoughts of someone lingered and refused to leave. Someone that she would never have imagined falling for a year ago….

The door creaked, directly followed by a quiet footstep. Lily turned around. How extraordinary…. James stood there, just inside the door. He smiled when he saw her, mirroring Lily's own smile.

"Hey," he murmured softly. "You know, people were looking for you," he told her, grinning still.

She lifted her eyebrows momentarily before replying playfully: "Let them look." She made a small motion with her hand, inviting James to sit beside her. He complied with the movement and crossed the room. He lay down and propped himself up on his elbows so that he was looking more up than out.

Staring up at the sky, he ventured a question. "So what are you doing in here? I mean, what are you doing alone?" he realized that could be interpreted as rude just as another thought struck him and he sat up. "You're not waiting for someone, are you?"

Lily smiled at his worry. "No," she lied. In truth, she _had_ been waiting for someone… but that someone had been James, and she wasn't waiting anymore.

He leaned back on his elbows. He remembered how, just at the beginning of that year—their seventh year—Lily had abhorred his every quality. Of course, James had loved her for years, but it wasn't until recently that they had even become friends. He sighed quietly. He knew he should be content with friends… for a year ago he would've given his right arm for that. But now… the fact that she was so close made him painfully aware that she was still just barely out of his reach. He wanted so badly to kiss her… right there at that very moment…. They _were_ in the astronomy tower. _Alone_.

"So is this where you are whenever nobody can find you?" he asked, suddenly wanting to break the silence.

She laughed. "And why would I tell you that?"

"Because I'm a really good secret keeper," James said mysteriously.

She pushed him lightly. "Oh yea? Prove it."

James just laughed. Truly, sometimes she completely perplexed him. He had no idea where he stood with her or how she thought of him.

So, he decided to find out.

"So… Miss Evans," he addressed her with manners of one conversing in stuffy company over tea. "What might be the latest object of your glowing affections?" He realized the question was maladroit, and he knew he was probably endangering the peace they had at the moment, but simply put he was curious.

_Glowing affections_? Lily thought. She didn't know what to make of that comment. "I find it hard to choose _which_ suitor to bestow my 'glowing affections' on as of late, if you must know," she replied in the same stuffy tone he had used. She had tried to make the answer as ambiguous as possible. She had no idea if James still fancied her… and if he didn't it would be very awkward of her to admit that she finally _did_ fancy him. And if he _did_ still fancy her….

"Oh? So who are these 'suitors', then?" He dropped the formal tone.

"People," she responded. She had to know. "And… what about you? Attracted to any females?"

_Only one!_ his mind screamed. _I love you and I always will._ Oh how he wanted to say that! To admit it!

He stayed silent for a moment. Lily looked over at him, worried she had offended in some way. A swift and fierce inner debate was going on within James. Admit it? Or just keep playing along with this strange game…?

What the Hell.

"Yeah," he began softly, but didn't elaborate.

"Like…?" prompted Lily.

Well, he didn't have to do it just this second, did he?

"You wouldn't tell me, so I wont tell you." He knew it was a childish game to play, but he played it shamelessly anyway.

Lily rolled her eyes above a half-smile. "Suit yourself," she added.

They sat in silence once again. Lily kept replaying what James had said over in her mind. First he had asked who she fancied, then he admitted that he fancied _someone_. But who? And what of the way he admitted to it? His voice got soft and low and it almost seemed like he was guarding against something. But what? If only she could be sure that he still felt that way about her! It was agonizing. Truthfully there was no reason she could think of why he _shouldn't_ still think of her like that. Except… what if the only reason he liked her in the first place was because she was so hard to get? Now that they were friends… maybe he had lost interest. The silence pressed in on her ears. She wanted to shatter it.

"James, do you know what love is like?" she asked. _Stupid! Stupid!_ she mentally chastised herself for blurting such a thing.

He looked at her, but she was looking away. "What do you mean?" he inquired slowly.

"I don't mean like family love, I mean… have you ever been in love?" she blurted the last part.

He didn't know how to reply. Yes he had been in love. He was in love at the very moment. With her. But he knew he couldn't say that.

"Are you forgetting that I'm the same age as you? When would I have had time to fall in love?" he asked playfully, laughing slightly.

"So you think that one has to be completely grown up to love?" Lily asked defensively. She basically took that as a 'no' to her question.

James shrugged. "I don't know. What's love anyway?"

"It's…" she began, then realized that she had no response to make to that. She didn't know what love was… and the small idea she had she wasn't going to reveal if it seemed so obvious that she was no longer the object of his affections. And so for a time her mind went in circles. He hadn't actually _said_ he didn't still fancy her, but he hadn't said he still did. Fine, he had implied it then. But had he really? All he said was that he didn't know what love was. Well that was ok, Lily didn't know either… well she didn't know how to _define_ it… but she was certain it was what she was feeling.

Lily turned abruptly. "Wait—do you mean how does one _define_ love, or how does one feel when in love?"

James chuckled. "You started the conversation. But… I guess I mean… well both in a way. It's more like… how do you _know_ when you're in love?" James was silently hoping that she would provide him with an answer that at least clued him in on _how_ she felt, even if it didn't give him a clue as to how she felt about him directly.

"I think that…" she stopped and amended, "well I've _heard_ that one just knows. But I thought we were too young to be in love anyway," she added hastily.

"I didn't say that… well, ok, maybe I did…" he trailed off. He was getting absolutely nowhere, and he was getting there at an incredible speed.

"Well, how do you explain your love for your family?" Lily continued on her last thought. "It's hard to do, but that doesn't mean you don't feel that way… you just know it's there…. Am I making sense?"

"Perfect sense," he murmured, turning to look at her. And he looked at her long after she had returned her gaze to the stars.

After a time, Lily noticed that James wasn't looking up anymore. Well… just because they were in the astronomy tower didn't mean he had to look at the sky. But… he was looking at what seemed like her direction… but… whatever it was probably something on the wall.

"What are you looking at?" she inquired, turning.

And James jumped. "You," he replied softly. Suddenly they were staring into each other's eyes. Lily's heart gave a jolt. Did that mean…?

But she didn't have a chance to further that thought, because at that moment James leaned forward and lightly kissed her. He seemed hesitant and guarded, as thought expecting a slap—which he probably was, she realized. Instead, she responded by leaning forward slightly and deepening the kiss. His arms went around her as her hand went around his neck.

James pulled back. "Wait," he said. "First I have to tell you something." His voice was low.

"Yes?" she barely whispered.

"I lied… I have been in love," he admitted. "Because… I love you."

She smiled. "And I love you," she murmured back as they both leaned in for another kiss.


End file.
